The Art of Bush Toilet Maintenance

And other useful lessons I’ve learned thus far.

To avoid smelly squat/bush toilets: throw fire ash in and around the hole regularly. Can also use dry dirt and sand

Disposing of fish bones/shells: throw in to the fire. Will burn and also keep away flies

To kill ant colonies with eggs: dump boiling water on them. Sweep once dead.

To start a fire AKA “Island Match”: tie together 10-20 dry coconut tree leaves and light. If you are out of matches, just carry your island match to a neighbors house and light using their fire. Carry quickly to your house angling the leaves down to keep them lit. Hold to side of your body so you don’t burn yourself.

To keep a fire burning (like a ‘fire log’): light the  dried ‘fruit’ of a coconut tree. About two feet long, dark brown, like a monster’s finger nail?

To burn a fire more slowly/lower heat but with some smoke: put dried husk of a coconut into the fire. These are good for baking over stones- put them on top of the saucepan you are baking in.

To burn a hot/strong fire: burn shell of coconut or dry grapefruit peel

“Shhhhhhh” is a universal island language to island animals. A cow in your path, “shhhhhh.” A dog, cat,  or chicken inside the kitchen or near food, “shhhhhh.” Ni-Vans often accompany “shhh” with chunking a stone at the animal- doubly effective.

“Shhhh” can also be used to get somebody’s attention as well as using a kissing sound.

On finding dry coconuts to scratch for cooking: Light brown color, should be fairly light-weight to show they have fallen recently and when you shake it you will hear water inside.

You cannot find green coconuts (to drink) lying on the ground. Somebody must club the tree and cut them down. And then you must drink them within 1-2 days.

There are “male” papaya trees. They produce a flower and do not make fruit. I’m not sure why they exist. Apparently you can give them a sex change operation! Just stab a bushknife through it’s trunk. He’s a she!! (My mama says this ‘usually’ works… I’ll let you know)