Punishment: Island Style

In training we volunteers lived a sheltered life. I think our host families were told not to do things like, oh, beat their children in front of us. Or perhaps our parents decided it wouldn’t be a good idea since they were being paid to care for us and feed us rice and other ‘white man kakae’ everyday, I’m not entirely sure.

I still saw plenty of mistreated animals, borderline child abuse, and unsanitary living conditions, but nothing even close to what I’ve experienced here at site on the ‘outer islands’, a phrase used for every island surrounding Efate.

Since being at site I have had the not so pleasurable pleasure of seeing children hit with coconuts, sticks, and pieces of bamboo on various parts of their bodies.

One boy of about 6 made the mistake of throwing a rock at his brother. His mother then chased him down before he could run away and hide, as most kids do. She hit his had repeatedly with a coconut shell she had found on the ground and then ‘spanked’ his bare bottom, legs and back, finishing him off with a slap to the face.

My neighbor, the headmistress, often slaps her young boys on the face and whips them with wood or bamboo on their bodies.

It is not uncommon for a mother to slap her child (sometimes younger than 2) or yank them around by one arm.

My very first teacher workshop was on discipline. Using ‘consequences’ as opposed to ‘punishment.’ We discussed corporal punishment as being physically and emotionally harmful to students (not to mention illegal in Vanuatu.) Nonetheless, one of the older teachers who has been teaching a long time (not government trained), while being an excellent teacher in many respects, has continued to whip her students when they misbehave. At least a couple times a week I hear wailing come from her classroom, followed by a student walking out crying- and oftentimes they just walk off in to the bush… maybe to go home?

Nik has a domestic violence workshop in mind and I think it will do a lot of good. At least I’ll feel better about educating the village, even if not everybody applies that knowledge. Most parents and teachers are under the impression that kids here are simply “strong headed.” They don’t stop to think about why the kids are misbehaving and what the adults could do to be a role model and a facilitator of change. Getting that rather huge idea through to the teachers is a big goal of mine as a teacher trainer.

In some cases (such as my host family), the parents take a completely opposite approach and make seemingly no attempt at discipline. My two-year-old brother is the poster child for ‘terrible 2’s.’ and from what I’ve seen, my parents are the poster images of what NOT to do when dealing with a toddler who is so often crying to get his way, throwing things, throwing tantrums, and physically harming his slightly older brother. Somehow these kids do turn out all right. I think this has to do a lot with the hard work they are required to do from an early age and the responsibilities and roles they fill. But it doesn’t make the process any less difficult and frustrating to watch.

I have to sit in silence (sometimes raging inside) while at my house for dinner, but I am at least learning invaluable patience and taking careful mental notes of what not to do as a future parent.

By some standards a lot of the things I’ve seen aren’t so terrible. Yes, I’ve seen a dog stoned so severely that his leg or hip had to have been broken and he could not walk or get up and lay crying for hours. Children have no concept of animal cruelty. Ripping wings off chicks, meh. Kicking small, helpless puppies, no biggie. Throwing the house cat on top of a dog, terribly entertaining.

I watched a mother slap her 1-year old in the face curing Easter church service because he was crying.

These things are fairly normal around here but this is not to say that all parents do this. And not all people mistreat animals. As I said before, for the most part those kids appear to be turning out well.

It’s just one of those more difficult “cultural differences” I’ve been experiencing here in Vanuatu.